Headmates

not all headmates listed, and the exact number fluctuates somewhat often.

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About Moss

How should I refer to you as a system? What words should I use?

We use the honorific "mix." and refer to ourselves collectively as mix. moss, with individual headmates referred to by their names followed by our system name: for example, riley moss. We prefer that no pronouns are used for us as a system, just our name moss. Individual headmates have their own pronouns or lack thereof. When referring to us as an entity the terms "system," "plural," "multiple," and "persons" are all fine. As for gender, you can refer to us collectively as genderfluid as we all have different relationships with gender and for many of us it changes often. If you are tempted to use a term like "bro" or "dude" or "girl" please check in with us, we all have different comfort levels with these terms. Except dude, none of us like being called dude.

We opt for not capitalizing the first letter for mix. for the same reasons we don't capitalize our names as we like to challenge conventions surrounding what is considered "honoring" ourselves and align ourselves with those who are dishonored and denied agency including the alterhuman and nonhuman persons with which we share existence.

An example: That is moss with moss's dog. moss is a plural system and does not use pronouns for mosselves.

• About "Mix."

What is your system's origin?

It’s pretty common for systems to introduce how their system came to be using a quick label like endogenic, traumagenic, parogenic, quiogenic, or mixed. We use the term quiogenic, which means either that someone doesn’t know what their origin is or that they don’t want to answer that question. We do not want to answer the question and reject the idea that being a plural means you have to divulge this information.

• more information on system origins

How old are you?

Our body is 25. We have a wide range of ages and a few of us are "age-sliders" which means our age fluctuates within a certain range.

What species are all of you?

We are all alterhuman, meaning we don’t see ourselves as following the typical narrative of a single human born inside a human body that we also identify with exclusively. We are in a human body and a part of the human race, possibly even with at least one human soul (we are currently of mixed opinions about what a soul is or could be) but when we visualize ourselves we don’t see the body or another human body, but rather a diverse array of forms and beings. We do not believe we have animal or mythological souls, but we don not believe that those who do are not wrong or delusional for that belief.

Are you disabled? What accommodations do you need?

We are multiply disabled. While we don’t necessarily consider neurodivergence a disability, per the social model we are seen as disabled due to how our ADHD and Autism present and require significant accommodation to interface with the neurotypical world. It is not possible for us to remove our neurodivergence from our experience of disability.

In addition to Autism and ADHD, which present differently in each headmate, we also have other "disorders". What this means for those on the outside is that we can simultaneously seem very emotional and loving and engaging, while at other times being very distant, unemotional, and disconnected. If we aren’t reaching out to you it isn’t personal, there could be a million reasons why. If we said we’d get back to you and didn’t, then that’s a mistake on our part and we either don’t remember or physically or cognitively can’t. While many people with autism are very articulate and can interact somewhat more comfortably with other people, we frequently lose the ability to make words, make words into sentences, and communicate our feelings or ideas in full english grammar and vocabulary. We often go the better part of a year being unable to initiate contact with people outside our daily routine, and often use all our physical, cognitive, and social energy on daily life alone.

We also are physically disabled: we are homebound, an ambulatory wheelchair user, have several unpredictable allergies and intolerances, a connective tissue disorder, vision issues, Hard-of-Hearing, and have an auditory processing disorder that makes the speech we can hear unintelligible. We cannot have verbal conversations and communicate either through typed English or American Sign Language. While some of us can speak well, this ability is not shared among all headmates and is very inconsistent in social situations. If you see/hear us talking to our dog, that does not translate to being able to speak to others nor being able to speak full sentences. There are also times when we can’t sign due to weakness or spasm in our arms. Never pressure us to communicate in a specific way and be open to using different methods depending on what you and we are capable of in any given moment.

Where do you stand on syscourse?

Syscourse refers to “system discourse” which revolves around the supposed differences between DID/OSDD (aka "disordered") systems and those that don’t fit that diagnostic criteria. Separate of the DSM, there's a popular theory called “theory of structural dissociation” that many have taken as fact. This theory holds that systems only form during a certain developmental period in childhood when that system/child experiences repeated, intense trauma that prevents them from forming a single sense of self. Many people feel that this describes their experience, and some of those people believe that it is an absolute fact and that anyone who has a different experience is either lying or doesn’t remember their trauma. These people tend to conflate “traumagenic system” with “system with DID/OSDD.” Traumagenic, meaning formed from trauma, doesn’t mean that your system causes you distress (a defining symptom of DID/OSDD), and many endogenic systems (formed from something other than trauma) have DID/OSDD and benefit from treatment.

We hold that all system origins and manifestations are real, and you can’t fake systemhood unintentionally. Each headmate understands themselves, their history and experiences, best, and should be the number one authority on their own identity. It is never okay to tell someone they are faking their experience or don’t know their own life as well as they think they do. Plurality/multiplicity, is not inherently disordered and should not be medicalized as such. System medicalization, as well as the field of psychiatry in general, is a violent system that pathologizes marginalized modes of being hand-in-hand with the prison industrial complex.

We understand it may be hard for someone who doesn’t share an experience, such as walk-in headmates or metaphysical system origins, and they will struggle to believe that experience is taking place exactly as it is understood by that system. You don’t have to believe in souls and spirits and deities to respect the systems that do. The truth is you will never 100% know what is happening in another person’s bodymind and you will only cause harm by telling them they don’t understand their experience. Go ahead and be skeptical, but keep it to yourself.

Who am I talking to?

So far we have a little over 20 members, not all of whom are online. If you are interacting with us it’s most likely that there are 2-3 people cofronting (using the body and present) and at least 2 others (usually more) coconscious (watching, observing, and commenting in headspace). Even if someone isn’t fronting, if they are coconscious then they can communicate back and forth with fronters and we can share their input as appropriate. Usually during conversation we don't specify who is communicating unless that headmate has something specific they want to communicate that differs from how others feel, with discord being an exception.

This is a lot of information, where can I learn more about plurality?

Here are a few websites we use. We aren't going to share any medical resources because the information on DID/OSDD isn't accurate to our experience and often is accompanied by aspects of medicalization that we find unhealthy to promote.

• Kinhost

This website has a lot of information on plurality as well as the Plural movement

• Plurality Resource

This is mostly a glossary kind of website but has good information. One note is that integration therapy for DID/OSDD doesn't necessarily mean integrating fully into one headmate, but can also refer to "integrating" communication and memory so that the system functions more comfortably.

• Karita's Laymans Guide

This website explains things a bit more in depth than just glossary definitions and we find it helpful

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